I must start this post with an apology: if you have spoken to me in the last few days and I haven’t replied immediately I’m sorry, but really it is not my fault. At least not directly…
We are currently in the process of depacifiying n°1. And it is a brutal process, but a necessary one. Because all the classic signs are there: changes in behavior, violent mood swings, a loss of interest in activities that where once important, secretive and suspicious behavior. N°1 exhibits all the classic signs of an addiction.
Oh I know, it seems so innocent, put a pacifier in the baby’s mouth when it cries and let it suckle happily until feeding time. But it is dangerous as Crack that pacifier. The kid needs it constantly. She will scream for hours when it is taken from her, when I won’t have her let have one she will throw a tantrum and kick around so violently that I wonder if she is the reincarnation of Bruce Lee. She longer wants to play with her puzzles, because puzzles are no fun without a good dose of Paci-Crack. She will sneak into my bag and steal the emergency pacifier I keep there for her younger sister.
No this is not good, we are to blame, I now and it is up to us to get her of the Paci-Crack. This is why my hearing has been temporarily affected and I might not hear you. Last Saturday she cried for a whole hour. A whole hour of non-stop whining and screaming because I had taken away the Paci-Crack, my ears where bleeding, I swear.
We are going about it gently. The new rule is: Paci-Crack is only for sleeping. I now, I now. Cold Turkey might have been better and quicker. But really, I don’t have the hearth for it… I don’t like to see my little baby suffer. And suffer she does without her Paci-Crack. Really, she does! She gets shivers and tears in her eyes. And my hearth breaks when I see her tears. There is the part of me that wants her to stay the cuddly baby who lay next to me in bed after morning feeding, happily sucking on the Paci-Crack, nice and warm next to mama, with a belly full of milk. But then there is the common-sense woman who knows that if she doesn’t take away the Paci-Crack now she’ll be making an orthodontist very rich in a couple of years.
So I now it will have to end soon, soon we will have to take her of the Paci-Crack for good and face the music, in this case ‘Symphony Screaming Tantrum all through the night in D minor’.
I think I better ask the husband to whip up one of these when the moment is there:
Chilled Martini (yes the one that George Cloonye sells, yeah that one)
Two Ice cubes
Tablespoon of lemon juice (depends on your taste, if you like a sour-kick take more, are you more of a sweet tooth, take less).
One lemon wedge
Put the lemon juice in the glass and add the ice –cubes.
Pour in the Martini
Take the rest of the lemon and rub it along the brim of the glass, coating the brim with lemon juice
Add the lemon wedge
Drink (and put ear plugs in, against the screaming)