Lately I have been feeling a bit off key. I had to cope with a severe illness in the family, the kids brought home some new bacteria that wouldn’t go away and got me sick. I needed comfort and found it in chocolate. I needed solace and spaghetti sauce soothed my fragile nerves. I needed nourishment and found it in fries.

Luckily things are looking up: my father has been operated successfully and is now recovering from surgery.  The poor man has had 90% of his colon removed. He must recover first and then they will start chemotherapy to ensure that the cancer doesn’t come back. He is recovering well and that is the main thing for now. When the chemotherapy pokes it ugly head around the corner we will deal with it then. Baby steps you know…

The children are happy and healthy again and after round of medication that would kill a full grown bull elephant I’m better too. Healthwise that is. My eyes are no longer bleary red dots in a puffy elephant man-like face, they can look at the world again with their usual mocking look. But when they looked in the mirror they saw something that filled them with horror.

Pale, ghostlike, flabby, bags under eyes, skin that was rough and peeling away from the face and arms in patches…  I looked like a creature straight from a bad Halloween movie! Return of the living dead: Overweight Zombie Mom!

The inability to exercise for a month, coupled with a craving for comfort food, a cold which clung to me like a heroin addict to a needle and a few rough nights hadn’t done my body any good. Suffice to say that things which shouldn’t be flabby are flabby and that Morticia Adams would envy me my skin tone.  The button of my jeans will only close when I inhale until my stomach is squatted against my ribcage and when I manage to close it, it will nestle itself in the folds of my belly like a child nestling a comfy big fleshy duvet.

And it isn’t just me. With all the general craziness, the running around between hospital, day care and work the state of my home can best be described as a huge messy dust bowl.

Action! Pronto!

Since I had planned to take a week of next week I decided to devote that week to a general de-clutter of the house. Now I can add a detox to my to-do list. Oh goodie. Now all of you hold your horses, I am not going to read a ton of stuff on mindfulness or whateverness that the so-called well-being experts try to sell to the willing believers. I’m will not participate in strange breathing exercises which involve finding my inner lotus flower or yang. If you do this and like it: very good for you. But me… sorry, I’m too much of a realist and a cynic to have my head up in incense clouds while I chant ‘oooooommmmm’. 

What I will do is watch my diet. You know the general rules: no alcohol, no coffee, no meat, fish or dairy products. Lots of water, fruit vegetables and such like. So basically I’ll be living the life of a trappist monk for the next week.

Even worse, the monks get a glass of beer once in a while, I won’t.